"MONSTER LOCATION" scouting (nostalgia and fear follow)

for some reason i am compelled to make something of an update if any of you still even happen upon this thing- i really hope you do(see title) and i am even more compelled to make this succinct so no one gets bored but my brain is literally being inundated by information right now....HERE GOES:

first off- there are ants coming out of my keyboard all the sudden. it's like some fucking German expressionism film in here but it somehow makes sense. it's been damn hot in this city and i finally got this AC window unit thing outta my sisters car and up here in queens so my room is...literally freezing and i love it so much....yet all this scary shit the past few days...i've been feeling literally scared(referring to title of post)....so i delay going into my room cause i know ill be in here alone with the door closed to keep the cold air from escaping...why???
i attribute it to recent episodes with bugs (e.g. before-mentioned ants in keyboard) and literally burying myself in research on some of the most horrendous crimes the world has ever seen SPECIFICALLY unlawful and extended incarcerations (e.g. silvia likens of Indiana and this woman in AUSTRIA who was kept in a cellar for 24 years by her father who was also having kids with her...? katerina...thoughts?!?!?!?!)
so thinking about people being locked in basements plus the bugs (i also woke up and saw what i thought were silkworms burrowing holes in my arm a few weeks ago. i ran outta my room and saw pete and was like DO YOU SEE ALL THESE MARKS ON MY ARM DO YOU SEE ALL OF THIS???.....residual dreaming i suppose) makes me wary of coming in here no matter how cool and refreshing it is.
also-i'm home alone tonight WTF. so i'm writing a blog...which is already too long. dammit. well here's the wrap-up.

we were location scouting in INWOOD PARK today, which is at the very northern tip of manhattan...in theory...but when you get there it's unreal. as michael warned us, "YER GONNA FUCKING SHIT!!!" while we were driving up there.
And strangely enough we're like hiking up these huge rocks and things once we get there and all i can think of is KOREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:
honestly, new york city...and manhattan of all the boroughs...looks like fuckin korea man. and of course i get all nostalgic(again, title) and freaked out when i realize it's been almost a year since i first arrived there and met all of you and now my life has changed literally hundreds of times over since that day as well. even when i think of january now it's like i was some other person living some other life.
things are exponentially better than they were this winter, yet for some reason standing on a stupid rock throws that all out of balance. i'm suddenly involved in this huge endeavor-and by 'huge' i can only refer to the immense amounts of planning and work that lie ahead...oh, and i have literally no clue what i'm doing. so i'm like....should i really be doing this? was this meant to happen or something? i dont fuckin know. if i think about it too much i freak out.

to conclude i miss you all a lot and i get reminded of it all sometimes...especially today. despite how i may sound in this post, i am indeed excited about what's happening now, regarding the projects and whatnot. it's just that i'm in completely uncharted waters right now and everythings' only in its most fetal of stages......

including what i hope is gonna be an actual screenplay, which i'm supposedly starting this week.....which the real reason i keep reading about criminals. so rest easy. and call/contact me...like right now.....please?

love yous.